Forget..

Once upon a time, I counted only one - only one of me. So many ideals of me - I tire to think of the many different ways I find to disagree to what is "me."

In this life time, you must make yourself just one promise: that no matter how still the mind, how shallow the breaths they be - whence you sit alone, in a dark room, you add only the prettiest flowers to your chain - be it, the chain, dark or light, you mark a perfectly potent, barely visable, design upon your soul. As they say, "to make no decision, is to decide," itself, would be to ensure that nothing breeds, in fact, many things - whether you're aware of this at the time, or not.

Many things will become a part of you, if you let them in. You must embrace change, be mindful of your instincts - you can accept the answer you do not want, yet cradle the ever ambiguous lessons in your essence, as if they were your own children.

"If my aura had a name, I would call her Missing."

.:What Do You LOVE?!:.

For quite a few years, I've been riding a spiral down the path of experiencing life - more often than not, I have found myself "try" something, and "keep doing it," all because other people were telling me "just how great it was." The more I kept doing that, the years went by, and I woke up one day feeling empty--not just in a sad, desolate way--I absolutely couldn't remember the last time it was that I did something that I absolutely enjoyed doing because I love doing it - for the past few years, I've been getting into different hobbies as a means of making extra money or because someone else thought that this was a great hobby, you should do this, too.

Do you know what apathy means? When I finally woke up from this spiral, I realized I wasn't doing anything I loved; I'd completely jumped off of my path, if you will, and started living through other people's karmic experiences.

Tonight, for peace of mind, I cannot think of a better blog post, than to start listing things that I love - selflessly - not being they make money or help me ignore reality - but things that I truly love:

• my cats
• video games! *currently going through PS1 - Chrono Cross
• computers
• food -especially meal items and simple things like cheese & crackers!
• my mother & my sister
• dolls - when it comes to paper dolls or character sketches, I just adore graphically or manufacture created people!
• miniatures - they say "size doesn't matter" ha - to me, the coolest things in the world are smaller than coin!
• cartoons - whether it's an old favorite or a cutely drawn character online - I love all comics, in all different styles!
• drawing/sketching - at the end of the day, I might not be a Disney-quality-graphic-artist, but I'm the best cartoonist I know! When you can create cute masterpieces from thought, pencil and from out of thin air, there's something truly magnificent about the it - art "just is"
• Learning - I absolutely adore learning new things! . . . *I often wonder if this is why I am pushing myself so hard to get into college?! There are many things a person can learn in life!

That's good enough for tonight :-) I hope to add more very soon as well . . . in the mean time, why not make your own list?

"Make a list of postive aspects. Makes lists of things you love--and never complain about anything. And as you use those things that shine bright and make you feel good as your excuse to give your attention, and be who-you-are, you will tune to who-you-are, and the whole world will begin to transform before your eyes." --Abraham

.:Happy Birthday:.

I recently celebrated my 26th birthday; July 14th actually. As the week went by, family and friends were coming out of the wood-works, wanting to join me in a supper or coffee; just to spend time and visit - to celebrate me as a person. I love my family and friends, that meant a lot to me!

When I was out for supper the evening of the 14th, it occurred to me: in our culture (in Canada), every December 31st, at mid-night, everyone discusses our short-term future goals; more often known as "New Year's Resolutions." Each person is thought to make a sort of "goal" that they'll hope to keep through the new year.

Why not do that on your birthday, to0? It's not only like a small gift to yourself: when you think about it, unless your birthday is on New Year's Day or New Year's Ever Day: your life started on the calendar day that you were born! Every birthday, you are about to embark on another full year of your life -- why not make a resolution that day? :) It can be just for fun, to enlighten one's self or it could be something that you've always wanted to do!

From now on, I'm no longer going to get uptight about sticking with whatever I goal myself to resolve, on the 1st day of January! I've come to realize that the resolutions people do make on the first of January sometimes don't get done through out the year, but they're things we'd like to accomplish, so we make them anyways! Personally, in my circle of friends, we've come up with a new ritual - it's the "What New Year's resolution are you going to break this year" sort of joke! :)

This year, I did grant me a small goal for me for the year of 2009/2010 - because it was on my personal birthday, I wanted that goal to be as good and beneficial for ME as possible! I told myself, that from now on, I will be more kind to me - I won't dwell on my short comings, as much as I will concentrate on all the positive that I *DO* have in my life!

=3 It's your day - make it as fulfilling as you can!

Always remember too: half the fun about making life goals is that you're special enough to appreciate your own self, not only just on your birthday, but with every day of the year! Have fun with it, and when it comes around next, I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday!