Decisions

aah, decisions. it's amazing how we can pre-condition our thoughts to the point where we're believing what we're telling ourselves. for years, i've been telling myself one thing €and completely engaging myself in some other direction ... a more interesting choice. unconscious decisions are more of what is speaking to us in true form. just because you tell yourself that you're a failure, doesn't mean that you are. as human beings, we are so used to talking; with talking comes telling ourselves what to do, giving orders, issuing commands. but at the end of the day, what is our true feel good outcome: what really makes us feel great. what do i want in life? i have a wonderful opportunity to do which i know will bring me closer to a happier, more fulfilling existance. my heart has decided. it is now time to issue the most important, life altering decision upon my mind. it's alright :)

How Many Days

This is precisely how many days I've been "out of it" this summer. Well, it's finally the first day of summer today, but since I've been out of school since the end of April, it technically is summer to me :)

I haven't been feeling well at all lately. I've been feeling my confidence waver as the job market continues to turn down it's nose at me <:( I really do miss having a job; further more, I miss working *every* day. I love working, so for that, I'm thankful to press on with so many personal projects that I have currently on the go! A cartoon entry to the Cartoon Network, an 8-bit style RPG game, I'm learning Unity, modeling a 3D video game type character, as well I am working on websites for my brother-in-law, as well as one for myself.

When I consider all the things that I have on the go, and how much I love doing all of these things, I'm happy to rest...but seriously, it's time to get back to work!! ;p

I Try

i really have been...i guess not everyone's going to be good at everything in one lifetime. it's just still so easy to feel superfluously alone. this is why a life-time of training solo has been seemingly useful; at the end of the day, i'm generally always alone. *itteh bitteh self-piteh committeh* i know this isn't always as it seems, but we truly cannot be happy all the time. going to work in 3d today; this should make me smile.

Apart

Hey, it's okay to fall apart some days, right? It's not like I have anything better to do. *chuckles* I'm going to find a good job over the summer, although it may take some time. I'm going to start posting ads on Kijiji.ca to show case some of my groovy web skills; this is one outlet I hadn't even considered.

This is why we need to embark on new adventures...you never know what good is going to come from things :3

Toon Character Modeling

Ok, there's a goal, I've set for myself. ...I'm going to try to not touch any web today, if I can help it :3 I think I maybe slept 4 hours last night. That's brutal! I just couldn't sleep, but that's fine by me! I managed to get a full website estimate and contract finished this morning, as well as I fixed the issues with the Durston Honey Farms website!!

Now to play/learn/I need a coffee!!

PS. Cat on arm, too long, makes for sleepy limbs X3 .:zzzz:.

Comics

One done on May 2nd, another May 7th. :3 Seeing all these comics uploaded in friends' facebook status' mucho inspired me to get back on the occasional comicking wagon!

Click each to view in full size!

Another Day, Another Coffee

Good day, Super Monday! You're just the person I wanted to talk to, listen, I've been thinking...
I've been out of school for an entire weekend, and already I'm feeling the sting of being nonproductive.

...Whoa?! I was just about to post about "wanting to find a job super soon," and I was just called in for an interview today for 3PM!! :3 I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! And I shall work my butt off to be a groovy asset to their company!! :D

Progress & Parents

Groovy day at the big house! I thought my kiddie book was done ... until I had it printed; everything was too dark! Recoloured every page, re-exported it (or as I'd like to call it "Losing an argument with InDesign) X| ...Someday, we'll see eye-to-eye, ID and I.

All that's left on this rock star plate is ... music video? Yes! It is true >:3 ... I assure it to be my most derpy vid yet. So grab some popcorn, sit back and wait for the link to materialize ..... waaaaaait for iiiiiiit ....

Took the opportunity to visit more with Mom & Eric while they're in the city. Fab night; I'm always happy to see them.

Nothing too newsy on the job bank home front ... many entrance level pharmaceutical positions available...Want me touching your drugs?? Didn't think so. Dream summer job: McNally Robinson. Why? It's four blocks from here, and the place reeks of coffee and BOOKS!!! <3

Productive Day

Spent the day working from home -- what a great day! I've gotten everything entered onto our Class Trip group site, finished doing my taxes, finished my banking and have successfully started my final web site project! My knowledge has grown quite nicely in HTML & CSS ... I very much enjoy coding!

Back to work! ... If the cats let me X3

Not Sleepy Enough?

I barely slept last night; enjoyed my time at the 2nd year DMT's fund raising social. They're good cats, they is. Unfortunately for my sanity, I didn't go to bed until 4am...and then early to rise after 7am, to get my butt over to the big house for a marketing test [#WritingForTheWeb] and to hand in hard copies of an assignment. Perseverance + Coffee = Holy cats, I'm still awake!

To the King's Head Pub after 2pm; we had a good class of socializing. It's mighty important to network. I didn't drink much more, I was so tired this morning I think I was still a wee bit loopy. I rarely party on a week-night, but it was for a good cause: giving my fellow peeps money, to help raise the funds for the expense of their Open House event.

We're going to be there next year, ourselves. Why not help out where we can, eh?

...Still not sleepy...Going to colour the children's book a wee bit more, I've been looking forward to the colouring process for some time.

In closing, I've successfully burnt my tongue about four times in the past 24 hours.
...And this is still my all-time favorite colour palette! 83

Cold? Flu?

I could give a million reasons as to the logical answer: why I'm feeling this way.
...Or I can just give in to the fact that "I'm coming down with something."

*sigh* ...I still say it's something minimal, like dehydration or ... do your muscles and stomach act up when you've been coding too much? ... *Oh crumbs..*

TGIF!! I love work weekends! :3

Why yes, another weekend is upon us!! 83 Nothing excites me more these days than the aspect of sitting down to a heavy workload of fantastic proportions!! X3 Over achiever? *shrugs* Life could be a lot worse, I suppose. As well, it cuts the loneliness down by about two thirds...and a handful of ju jubes can only make the world go further 'round.

Goodness, I really wish my neighbors below me would stop screaming at each other <:-( Sounds as if there are small children in that apartment. ...... Here's hoping they're just "incredibly loud when happy to see each other?!"

Cute observation: Blogger isn't spellchecking typed l33t speak! What next?! Maybe the headless horsemen of the apocalypse will come in rainbow colours???

Double Apocalypse Rainbow..."What does it mean?!"

Alright, enough buggering around, back to work I go!!

Shutting Down

Yup, it's time to get rid of that web store -- I don't have the time to promote it properly; I'd rather be pursuing my education. Maybe I'll keep the digital scrapbook designing on the back burner, for when I need something fun to do? :3 That would make me smile, how I enjoy making those kits and products!

I'll post a few of the [rubydragon.org] blog posts here, other than that, I'm going to keep this site open, and it shall remain the only one.

Back to Normal in the Attic...

Yes, I'm feeling much more "myself," today -- not sure what the heck happened this past week...maybe I missed working? *shrugs* Who knows, really. Between the full moon, sugar withdrawal and back-to-school, it could have been an amalgamation of these. Yes, I'm trying to cut out sugar completely - why not? There are natural sugars found in fruit and vegetables, why get carried away?

I've also been pondering shutting down my website + store -- it's been a fun ride, but I need to start concentrating more on my major, start leaving some of these "wants" in the dust; work on the "needs" for now.

Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other...

I've spent much of the past few years pondering just how "accomplished" I appear to be. It's only me who feels this way; it's no matter if others don't accept this or understand it: who really knows your life as you do?

The more I get to know other feel, I feel pale in comparison with their accomplishments. Who's comparing? And more importantly, why do I feel the need to compare my intelligence to someone else?

The answer is simple: compatibility, acceptance. Not everyone is going to be compatible with me and I need to accept this. On the other hand, I'm only being a snob by just letting opportunities slip by me, by not even trying.

...This speaking in cryptic is not very "me" at all. To ask or not to ask...such is the conundrum we stand to face. I can argue this eight ways from Sunday!!

1) Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all (a little much, but hot in the positive aspects).
2) If you don't try, then you'll never know.
3) Actions speak louder than words: once the deed is done, then the next part of this puzzle can either be put to rest or progress.

*Think*Think*Think* I think far too much for my own good.

When is the best time to stop thinking and to just act? It's important to think before you act...

In closing, what needs to be addressed is the general hierarchy of the situation - while this is important to only me, without acting, nothing will change in anyone's world. Where do I see this as a priority in my own life? Can I make time for the potential stresses that may follow? How realistic are my motives? And why does blogging feel as if I'm just talking to myself? (Hehehehe!)

If nothing else, I stand true to this one inspiring notion: that in life, there are no right or wrong answers. We will make our decisions based on what we feel is best for us. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained," have truer words ever been spoken? I fear only the potential of what could come from this: that being, "nothing sacrificed, nothing lost."

I would answer this, myself, using an "if" operator...only "if" I could receive a solid TRUE or FALSE. Hahaha..I'm enjoying my scripting classes; I like coding so much, I'm contemplating taking it as a major instead of 3D Animation.

..I need to do something fun to relax my brain tonight...

Personal, Professional

I've been pondering about my web site; it may not even stay open. So at this time, I'd like to keep this blog open for my personal ramblings. RubyDragon.org will be pure business.

I read the most beautiful quote today!

"Let your dominant intent be to feel good which means be playful, have fun, laugh often, look for reasons to appreciate and practice the art of appreciation. And as you practice it, the Universe, who has been watching you practice, will give you constant opportunities to express it. So that your life just gets better and better and better."

--- Abraham

This is a nice reminder for me: play, have fun, be child-like and not childish - there's nothing so wrong with life that we have to keep ourselves beaten down emotionally.

Have a wonderful Christmas/Xmas/Hannakuh/etc break everyone!

Cat Flies By

Finally finished cleaning the apartment, sitting down now with supper. I've been looking forward to this for some time...as soon as I sit down, there's a kitty next to me, with the "auto shed" feature turned all the way to the max. I can see tumbleweeds of Pickles' fur, launching itself down onto my perfect casserole...Tumbling, getting stuck in the gooey goodness of the noodles and cheese. *sigh* He could have dipped his fuzzy little face in there and I would still love him ... and I still would have eaten this, damn!! What a fine casserole!!

Starting to get sleepy...I'd like to do some modeling before I head to bed. Oops, still have to make lunch for tomorrow...Oh whoops, short day...Guess I'm exempt from that.

Another Assignment Finished

Yes, it seems that the homework train hasn't crashed yet...this is great.

Pondering perogies, beet leaf buns and some random meat for supper. I need to sort out a few things around the apartment, then all my storage stuff will be done.

Looking for spectacular digital scrap booking kits and elements!? Click here to visit my web store for the hottest digital scrap book content on the net!! New product will be uploaded slow but steady as this year rolls on. I miss waking up in the morning and designing :) But school comes first!

Sign up for your free account today at Ruby Dragon Scraps, to receive a $5.00 gift voucher!

McHappy Thought for the Day

I absolutely love positive affirmations. And why not, right?! We're constantly being bombarded by the media: "People dead," "buildings are blowing up..." Maybe if we had more positive influence, there wouldn't be so much of that garbage blowing up around us.

Excerpt from Abraham-Hicks tour:

"Don't do anything that you don't really want to do. Keep yourself in a place of feeling good. Reach for the thought that feels better -- and watch what happens." --- Abraham

I concur. No good has ever come of doing something I didn't want to do. ...I mean, aside from eating chocolate ice cream for breakfast ~lol

Spam and Bedtime

Aaaw, Blogger thinks the comments I post on my own posts are spam :) ...Wait, why the crap have I been commenting on my posts? Oh well :)

Learning the coolest things during my classes. I love HTML ... and today, I fell in love with CSS. Yes, it is a fun thing.

I'm going to be doing some designing on the side; I realize that E.I. will have a snit-fit if they find out but *shrugs* how will they know when stuff was made? :) Ahahahaha*coff*hack* Ok.

Random thought for the evening: If you're going to be as intestesting as a stick of gum that's lost it's taste and can't even be justified as a part of a theatre seat.....just keep on walking. Yes, that is all for the evening.

Batman Begins:
"Bruce, why do we fall?
So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again."